I n n a K r a s n o p e r —

However

я не смогла открыть бутылку для глинтвейна, however открыла просто бутылку
я открыла просто бутылку, however не стала разбираться как отделить пробку от штопора
я положила пробку со штопором на полку, и там они и лежат
я открыла документ, however обычно я пишу на смартфоне
my phone is dumb, however i don’t think we can соревноваться in that
i couldn’t remember the right word for compete, had to look it up on my smartphone
however compete might sound like a word, it is not the word i was trying to recall
as i recall, i first wrote вспомнить for recall, and gave up on вспомнить
due to the insufficient persistence of consequence on the part of the author, the reader is asked to
follow the subsequent
i am not as smart as my phone, yet i do understand something when people write about
translingualism
people write about translingualism, however not many of them write poetry in a non-latin
alphabet such as that of russian
russian is an imperialist language, however it can be marginalized and exoticized
however obscure the message, it would be broken down for an external audience
however outside an audience is, it may still be within hearing
however hearing an audience is, it won’t grant audience to many
however much you deliver, some deliveries are misread between here and there
however much is misread, soever much is granted thorough attention
however packageable your poetry is [ nothing i have is of consequence here ]
as much as you wish to remain, you have to move
as much as you wish to move, you have to remain
so many boxes you packed for the language umzug
put on your language anzug, baby
it’s a long move

*

how long is it going to
is it ongoing
it is going on

it isn’t going off- 
site it might have stopped
out of sight

but in here it must
go on

we are ongoing here
they go on

standing still
a moment steals by

it has started without us
it will end
without us seeing

not overseeing
it is overheard

is it heard over the ocean
has it reached another gong  

there’s no way to find out
if it was to reach

is it enriching when ongoing
is it going to be over

something goes over this side
the undertaking is taken under

beneath this rug or above that boat
broad overboard

*

i am a russian with many cats
i'm in a rush to see my stats

i'm in a rush to hide from eyes
i have just eaten multiple pies

i have just lost the taste in mouth
especially when it comes

to coffee, ketchup, macaroni
proceed with caution

stay awa-y/-ke 

*

i got into a poem once or twice—you know
and then i didn't

and then i got into a poem by someone else
and then i didn't

and then i thought i did, but i actually didn't—it was 
someone else, you know

and then i got other people into my poems
i dragged them in

and then they didn't fit inside my poem
their legs or other body parts were taking them out 

they couldn't stay inside a poem—for too long
also, you know, lvovsky writes:

i don't write about real people
это я пишу о тех
кто живет внутри меня
а не о них самих—he says, to be exact

so whose legs were those, sticking
out of my poems

and did any of my legs or other extremities
get into any of your poems

skirts, you say

all my skirts are accounted for
they are right here

right here in the middle 
of dropping 

from [ an inky dropping:
splat splat ] 

a poem

*

i am part of no narrative
no narrative of yours, in any case

a narrative of silence and assumption
an excuse to get to already-made conclusions

a narrative like that—i take no part in
no part of me has any part in that

no part i've taken in that either—in past-part
i pulled myself together—to stay apart

away from the set where i was given no part

let's say there could have been a part
but it has not endured for the most part

imparting where i’m absent as a part
someone to be considered and to count

let's count it in
3-2-1

see—easy
not taking me into account

nothing new
there was no part to take

*

as i talk to you, i miss calling your name
i miss saying your name, before

i say hi. i say privet
as if i am about to touch 

on a matter. to call you by you
a name creates certain distance

probably a fair dis tance
like between stanzas or in tanz

with tanz it's fair to be at a distance

though to measure the distance not visually
but sensually, to sense the space in between

while writing i have the urge to separate 

from what i just said
and yet: i don't like to call

you by name. it means
to take a step further 

away. further
from what? i prefer 

when there’s only one 
possible name

unless you are so close as
to come up with any name

or the name your mother might call you 
and yet i’m all for distance

even cold and indifferent
as long as there is a difference

between any one and any other
to depart from, to leave

some one or some other
in the other stanza

and let myself hang
in between no-betweens

*

i've been building some narratives
i've been narrating some ways
i've been going places
i've been leaving you out of this
i am not getting out of your hair
i've been seeing other narratives
i've been asking for your lighter
i was seeing a lighter behind your back
i've been addressing a binding contract
i've been brushing bridges
i've been turning aside
i've been turning the other cheek
i went for this option
i didn't opt out
i drove myself affiliated
i wouldn't abandon ship
i won't herd a shepherd
i won't show myself out
i’ve laid myself down not late
from here to hear

from diz stanz (Veliz Books, 2025)

.